Clutching Breakthrough

Discussion in 'The Smoking Lounge' started by Albert, Aug 31, 2011.

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  1. Albert

    Albert Active Member

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    So, working as a land surveyor, there are times when I am tasked with operating a sledge hammer for weeks setting monuments on large projects. I decided this would be the perfect time to learn myself how to enjoy my pipe while laboring as the salt of the earth common man. So day in and day out I've rammed my MM washington with full flakes of Wessex Red Virginia, grabbed a dozen steel rods, and a 10 lb sledge, fired the pipe up and got to it.

    What I've learned about clutching:

    1. When you start drooling all over yourself, plug the end of your pipe with your tongue, close your mouth and swallow.
    2. when you are out of breath, plug the end of your pipe with your tongue, and pant with your mouth open.
    3. when swinging a sledge hammer and smoking a pipe, SEE #2. No fun breathing in a huge hit of smoke mid swing, cause you gotta land that hammer!

    Yours Truly,
    John Henry.
     
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  2. Dutchking22

    Dutchking22 Member

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    I use the techniques, but not while hammering steel rods (tempted to make a dirty joke):xd:
     
  3. Albert

    Albert Active Member

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    please do, sometimes its all that gets us through the day ;)
     
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  4. Ol Brokedik

    Ol Brokedik Active Member

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    I can clench a pipe like a pitbull hanging on the end of a rope.

    Ol Brokedik.
     
  5. Dutchking22

    Dutchking22 Member

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    So we can pull the end of the pipe and liftyou off the ground?:rofl:
     
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  6. Ol Brokedik

    Ol Brokedik Active Member

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    I tried to think of a snappy comeback but couldn't. You won this round. Good stuff!

    OLB.
     
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  7. Dutchking22

    Dutchking22 Member

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    WIN ALL THE ROUNDS!:haha:
     
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  8. Mister Moo

    Mister Moo Normal Cow Moderator

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    Clutching vs. Clenching

    Von Trips clutching:
    [​IMG]

    Debutante clutching:
    [​IMG]

    Cronkite Clenching:
    [​IMG]
     
  9. homebrewer

    homebrewer Member

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    Hey, I also am a land surveyor, haven't broke out the pipe on the job yet, but I been thinking about it.
    That must be a hell of a project if you're setting rebar all day long for weeks at a time. Be glad you have a job. I was out of work for over a year, working now but it's "temporary".
     
  10. yinyang

    yinyang Some rim charring is to be expected.

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    My advice, and for once it's good, is 'learn' clenching from the comfort of an easy chair(or similar). I've smashed my shin bone full force with a sledge while driving a ground rod. I did this without the benefit of a pipe or smoke distracting me. 10 years later and I still have a dent to show for it.
     
  11. user1975

    user1975 Active Member

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    OUCH!:eek:
     
  12. Tanman

    Tanman Member

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    Now I know why I was always fond of ole Walter; he smoked a pipe also; man with class!
     
  13. Albert

    Albert Active Member

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    My company only does AZ state highway right of way surveys, so my projects will be on avg 20 miles long and have several hundred monuments. We've been really close to the brink of shutting down but fortunately work has picked up now that the state has its funding sort of figured out. Where do you practice homebrewer?
     
  14. Albert

    Albert Active Member

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    Yes, I've learned the hard way too that you have to make sure nothing is in the path of the hammer if it were to miss its target.
     
  15. Albert

    Albert Active Member

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    Ahh yes, I did mean Clenching in the title.
     
  16. homebrewer

    homebrewer Member

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    I'm in southern NJ. I've been surveying for about 25 years. Things have been pretty bad in these parts, lot's of companies folding up shop.
    Around here monuments are 4"x 4", 3' long concrete markers set with post hole diggers. I guess you all have some serious rock to pound them bars through.
    You might have inspired me to bring the ole cob to work.
     
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