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Tad, Pad, The Cleaning Lady, and Salad Dressing

Discussion in 'The Smoking Lounge' started by JuJu McMojo, Feb 2, 2011.

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  1. JuJu McMojo

    JuJu McMojo Member

    Jan 14, 2011
    Like many stories, this one starts with: "I swear I only intended on only spending $10."

    As an smoker of full english blends I occasionally enjoy an aromatic as a change of pace. I braved the flooding, and headed to the local B&M, about 10 miles away, to purchase a couple ounces of one their bulk aromatics--nothing particular in mind. Well, the jars of toby are kept on a shelf next to, ( sigh) alas, the pipes. The friendly guy behind the counter said it would be alright to come behind the counter to get a better look, and, well, who was I to decline. After rummaging through the mass of pipes, I came to THIS PETE NOSEWARMER with a P-lip. Now, I came across this pipe some time ago online, and at the time, it cost $100--this one was $60. So as you see, I had to buy it, and I did. As I proudly walked up to the register, carefully inspecting and sniffing the stem new aquisistion for any tell-tale rubber smell, I spied a tin of SG Commonwealth. Knowing I was already up to my arse, I told the gent, that I'd take the SG as well. When he announced the price ($10.50) I said "I'll take 'em all" (3 tins). Clearly, since I was on a, ummm, Saving Spree (yeah, that's it), I needn't mess with House Tobaccos, throw in some CAO tin my good man. Even with the taxes, my tally is $20 less than a compareable purchase made on line, and I get instant gratification!

    So I hop in the car and head off, back to work. When I arrive, I pop the Pete in my mouth and OH GOD WHAT THE @!!@@#$! The most gawd-awful rubber taste. The whole stem instantly turns green---ACK! Now a little dismayed, I bring the bit inside, like "maybe it'll wash off." No such luck. Just then the cleaning lady happens by, and I swipe her Ajax--I really did. After some minutes of scrubbing, the green came off. HMMM, now to polish it with some olive oil from the cafeteria lady, but she only has Itallian Salad Dressing (you know where, this is going, and yes, it was the creamy kind). Long, story short, it workered like a charm. I know, I know, you're saying "he put ITALLIAN DRESSING in an IRISH PIPE!!! ( effen noobs). I enjoyed my first bowl of Bella Vanilla, and not a hint of rubber, or salad dressing for that matter.

    I'll get around to fixing it properly, well maybe when my salad dressing runs out.
  2. aircoder

    aircoder Member

    Dec 27, 2010
    lol great story, shows what some men will do to enjoy a smoke!... as well as how you can make due with the weirdest things in a pinch.

    Enjoy the new purchases....
  3. Snake

    Snake permanent ankle biter

    Jun 13, 2010
    Way to go, McMojo!
    Hopefully the italian
    dressing didn't hinder the flow.

    Now that you've experienced
    some PAD, you know.
    Pretty soon it's back
    to the B&M you go!

    Nice little Pete!
    Enjoy it in good health.

  4. woody

    woody Aloha! Admin

    May 4, 2009
    Topic moved. Please post in the appropriate section.
  5. JuJu McMojo

    JuJu McMojo Member

    Jan 14, 2011
    Lol. .I should have said I put the dressing ON the pipe mouthpiece, not IN the pipe --even I'm not that crazy!
  6. Mington

    Mington Well-Known Member

    Oct 15, 2010
    Cool story JuJu. I was a little freaked by the Ajax part though. Never read that tip before! :startle:
  7. yinyang

    yinyang Some rim charring is to be expected.

    Feb 11, 2010
    I prefer Bleu Cheese dressing, but a humorous story nonetheless.
  8. jhe888

    jhe888 Member

    Aug 26, 2010
    Thank goodness it wasn't ranch dressing.
  9. Falconeer

    Falconeer Active Member

    Dec 25, 2009
    Hi All,

    I've had something similar once - I bought a nice looking Barling and was really really looking forward to trying it - the minute I put the damn thing in my mouth it went a disgusting shade of green and had the taste you mentioned.

    Acciavet had given me his tip about Bartenders Friend for stems and this fixed it - so I'm not actually surprised that Vim did the trick for you as they feel about the same - gritty.

    Disappointing when this happens with a new pipe, but in the case of that Barling it went on to become a favourite - hope your Pete turns out the same!

    Best to all

  10. Bri2k

    Bri2k Active Member

    Mar 12, 2010
    Cewamy Italian dressing on a pipe? Next you'll be putting crutons in the bowl...

    Great story! I hope you enjoy your new nosewarmer for many years!
  11. justMike

    justMike Member

    Aug 8, 2010
    would they qualify as cube cut..??

  12. Mister Moo

    Mister Moo Normal Cow Moderator Moderator

    Jun 10, 2009
    Ajax and salad dressing.... whew. Sometimes a mans just gotta do what a mans gotta do...

    ... (without telling anyone else). :D.
  13. t-bear

    t-bear Well-Known Member

    Dec 21, 2009
    Another "McGuyver moment" on PSF!!! Well done...and a great funny story.
  14. BradNTX

    BradNTX Well-Known Member

    Jun 7, 2010
    Ha ha, that was an intertaining read! Thanks for posting it. :0laugh:
  15. TailGunnerUK

    TailGunnerUK Member

    Jan 10, 2011
    as long as you dont put ajax on your salad....
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