Can't smoke this!

Discussion in 'Need Pipe Smoking Advice? Ask an Old Fart!' started by Pappy, Sep 23, 2012.

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  1. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    OK my fellow old farts, I'll admit to you all that even though I've been puffing the pipe for multiple decades “I don't know everything!” This is the great thing about a forum like this...collective knowledge. :bow:

    Here is my quandary. I have one pipe that although is nearly 10 years old is not even broke in. Why? Because the only time I feel I should smoke it is when I'm very angry at myself and feel the need for penance. This is with out a doubt the worst tasting pipe I've ever known, perhaps in the history of all time!

    No matter what you fill it with it all tastes the same; a combination of eraser rubbings mixed with dog hair and sprinkled with a dash of pepper spray! I have tried many different common brands of tobacco including SWR, H&H, CH, even aromatics like Caption Black and it's always the same; YUCK and SOUR! :puke: I'm not about to waste any of my good toby on this pipe. :doh:

    I've used Bee Pipe Sweetener (when it was still available), rum, ever-clear, and rubbing alcohol with no change. The bowl has never gotten hot, or seen anything but matches to light it.

    The pipe is a Jobey “Band” #110. The pipe is a large (coated) billiard bowl with a screw on acrylic stem. Nice looking enough, but that’s about all. Please don't suggest selling it; my conscience would not allow that. To be honest I can't even think of anyone I dislike that much.

    So...this bodes the question, do any of you have a suggestions on how to make a very sour bowl smokeable enough to get it broke-in, or am I just going to have to make it a battle of the will? :beyes:
     
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  2. TheKiltedOne

    TheKiltedOne Active Member

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    You could bin it? or donate it to Science, Its been a while since the last "Experiment"... :whis:

    On a serious not I've no idea
     
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  3. nesta

    nesta Well-Known Member

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    idk man....break into the Grabow factory every night for a month and use their pre-smoking machine?

    Could it potentially be a result of something coating the chamber itself? As a last resort you could try sanding it down to bare wood and starting a cake from scratch, but I would not recommend trying that unless you're willing to risk losing it entirely by messing it up.

    When you've tried rum or everclear, how did you apply it? A widely used method is to fill the bowl with kosher/sea salt (noniodized) and then adding drops of the alcohol (preferably everclear or 151) until the salt is damp all through. Let it sit like that for 24 hours, then dump the mess and ream lightly. Before you add the alcohol, run all the way into the pipe and leave it there the entire time.

    It works a lot better than simply wiping the thing out with booze
     
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  4. Sasquatch

    Sasquatch Sales Account

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    It's one of two (or three) things.

    The bowl coating might be bothering you, but I just broke in an old Jobey (70s era) and didn't find that the coating was too bad. You could sand it out.

    More likely is that the stem is fouling the taste somehow. If it is oxydized (green) outside or in, it will certainly affect the flavor.

    The "Jobey Link" is an abomination - this is the screw in tenon contraption, replaceable (in some decade) and apparently revolutionary. Abhorrent and ridiculous is what I'd call it. Anyway, point I'm making is that there is a little space in the stem itself, where the link hooks in, and this could be "uncleanable" by ordinary means. Maybe a pipe cleaner soaked real good in rum or something.

    Anyway....Jobey talked a good game but made some really awful pipes as far as I can tell. It might just be that the thing is a poorly cured piece of wood too, and ain't nothing you do gonna fix THAT.

    So..... do what you need to do.
     
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  5. DanielMelange

    DanielMelange Member

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    Or you could simply make your own automatic smoking machine and smoke through that pipe, break it in like a wild buck that everyone said shouldn't be messed with.

     
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  6. Spillproof

    Spillproof Mostly Harmless Moderator

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    Burn it. Laugh cruelly as it goes.... You'll feel better. Just don't tell anyone.

    (give up the fight; too many pipes in the world to suffer a bad one)
     
  7. DGErwin11

    DGErwin11 Moderator Moderator

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    Why punish yourself? Get rid of it. Or follow Sas's suggestions. Usually a sour pipe is a sour shank or stem.
     
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  8. TedVig

    TedVig total pipeflake

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    Have you tried coating the bowl with honey? Sanding the bowl lining is probably best if it's the culprit. I wouldn't think the stem would taste bad if it's lucite. I think I read that right.
     
  9. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    Thanks all. You’ve settled that I’ve tried all the right things and all that is left is to give it to the grand kids for a bubble pipe or a snowman. I agree that life is too short to mess with a bad pipe. ;)
     
  10. dmkerr

    dmkerr PG- free since '83! Moderator

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    Reminds me of a Charatan Special I bought around 1990. I must have smoked it 200 times, it was well broken in and should have smoked wonderfully. Every smoke was crappy. I kept it as long as I did because it was one of the most perfect 1/8 bent poker shapes I've ever seen.

    As you said, probably a poorly cured piece of briar.
     
  11. ruffinogold

    ruffinogold Ruffinogold-Mayor, I.R.G.E.--At Large. Mayor

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    Hmm , I have a Peterson Emerald Rustic that tasted like pure hell for a good while . I had to suffer though many a bowl for it to go away .. well , I didnt have to , but the pipe was so cool that I just suffered through it like a moron . The good news is that it went away and is a fantastic smoker ! It could very well be a block that didnt get cured and thats a drag ... could you cure it by smoking out the tannins and crap in there ... maybe , but you dont want to cause that could take a hell of a long time and you'd probably posion yourself . If youre gonna toss the pipe , dont .. I'd send you a tin of a Sutliff blend for it . I could try giving it a shot , and if I die , you guys wouldnt have to put up w/ my ramblings
     
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  12. Raffxr7

    Raffxr7 Active Member

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    Once the pipe has been rejected for use as a bubble maker, cut it in half lengthwise with a bandsaw and find what was causing the disturbance. I am the type of person who would loose sleep over such a question, and would rather have an answer than a bad pipe in the end.
     
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  13. RTOdhner

    RTOdhner Well-Known Member

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    It's Satan's pipe, or The Pipe of Chuckie! Set it a'light and let it burn.
     
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  14. Ridwaan Gallow

    Ridwaan Gallow Member

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    haha.. C'mon guys.. Don't tell him to damage the pipe in any way.. Pappy? Trying smoking only one type of baccy in that pipe, (your favourite, or one that you know to taste good in your other pipes).. Maybe it'll take some time, but it might bring the pipe to ''life''..
     
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  15. YOJiMBO20

    YOJiMBO20 Member

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    Am I the only one who, upon reading the title of this thread, sang it as a parody to Hammer - Can't Touch This?
     
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  16. Ridwaan Gallow

    Ridwaan Gallow Member

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    i think you probably were..
     
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  17. Raffxr7

    Raffxr7 Active Member

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    That song is perpetually stuck in my head. I thought of it too. If I had parachute pants right now, I'd be even less popular, but wouldn't be able to notice from being so self absorbed with my bad dancing. na nah nah na.... Hammertime!
     
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  18. miracle419

    miracle419 Member

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    I have some stained Romas that are stained right into the bottom of the bowl! Tastes like $#!+. They've been sidelined to the point of finding webs in the bowl.
     
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  19. phatdaddynxn

    phatdaddynxn Member

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    I would keep it to torture my enemies with. Fill her up with some horrible baccy and force them to smoke bowl after bowl. That or just chuck it.
     
  20. Rodfather

    Rodfather Active Member

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    I have had pipes like that, not cheap ones either. I quit messing around with pipes like that. With no mental reservation they go in the fireplace.
     
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