I need some sympathy...

Discussion in 'The Smoking Lounge' started by beaupipe, Nov 8, 2012.

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  1. beaupipe

    beaupipe Active Member

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    I just spent months in a foreign country (and no, not in service of the nation). I worked like a plow horse and had no pipes to smoke--only cigars. That was my decision, I suppose, but it was a dumb decision. Since returning to the USA, I've been staying with my boss. I'm homeless more or less because before I left the country, I put all my stuff in storage and gave up my apartment. I also can't drive right now because I'm between one immigration document and another and I have to wait a couple of months before I'll be able to renew my license. And when I say "renew" I mean probably take the freaking written and practical tests again.

    When I got back, I bought a couple pouches of Captain Black White and a cob and I've been happily puffing away.

    Here's the hard part. My boss told me he had some pipe tobacco and I could help myself if I run out. Well, I'm out. So i open up his little humidor and find a couple baggies with what looks to be burley. It looked a little chunky, a medium brown color. I'm briefly happy. Then I open a bag, take a deep breath and say to myself, "Oh no. Oh no...it can't be."

    But it is.

    Yes sir. Yes sir. two bags full...of Mixture #79.

    It's not quite as bad as I remember it (probably because it's dry as a cucumber's armpit). But I am feeling more than a little sad.
     
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  2. dwaugh

    dwaugh Moderator Moderator

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  3. Arkie

    Arkie Active Member

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    You poor sod. It's inhumane to be forced to smoke Mix 79. You have my condolences. Can I send you a care package of good stuff?
     
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  4. PipeWife

    PipeWife Member

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    That's not his real stash. It's just what he offers people so they never try to bum tobacco off him again.
     
  5. piper mike

    piper mike Member

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    I no I'm new ......but what is mix 79
     
  6. PipeWife

    PipeWife Member

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    Probably what the previous owner of my estate pipes smoked ... notorious for leaving a nasty ghost (nay, poltergeist!) and described even by those who like it as heavily perfumed licorice/black jelly beans.
     
  7. 5H4N3

    5H4N3 Active Member

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    It is the stuff they scrape out of the bottom of spittoons mixed with a little dab of horse manure.
    I can't prove that as fact, but I'm pretty sure.
     
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  8. Phatmandu

    Phatmandu Member

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    I remember when I was a kid, walking to school uphill in both directions, snowing like a beetch, blinding snow, driving like pins in my skin, no shoes, carry'n my 4 brothers and 2 sisters on my back so their bare feet wouldn't freeze, shoveling neighbors driveways with a stolen kitchen spoon so I could have some money to purchase MM79...then I got drafted and the stuff was damned near issued....AAAAAAHHHHHH Life is good!
     
  9. County Mountie

    County Mountie Active Member

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  10. Raffxr7

    Raffxr7 Active Member

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    Hey if it tastes like licorice... I gotta try it! Yes, I am a masochist. Not in a pervy way though.

    Welcome back beaupipe! At least you have a pipe and tobacco now. I'd rather have something I didn't much care for than nothing at all!
     
  11. Imrandy

    Imrandy Member

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    Well i dont know about anyone else but now i have to try it
     
  12. Coda

    Coda Well-Known Member

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    You couldnt even make up a story like that...
     
  13. phinz

    phinz Active Member

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    PM me an address. I'll send you some of the good stuff. Consider it an early Christmas.
     
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  14. piper mike

    piper mike Member

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    Don't believe I want a sample lol
     
  15. beaupipe

    beaupipe Active Member

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    Thanks. But I've never really understood the "licorice" element some find in M79. I don't taste it--at least not in this batch. The last time I smoked M79 was about 12 years ago and I don't recall any licorice back then either. Then again, I've been in therapy for the M79 incident of the year 2000 for over a decade now and I've successfully repressed most of the bad memories.

    You should try M79. It's been around a long time. Hugh Hefner is said to have smoked it all the time. Uninhibited, bosomy women apparently love the smell.
     
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  16. beaupipe

    beaupipe Active Member

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    I can't tell you how much I appreciate the offer. But I'll be heading back to Las Vegas in a couple weeks and I'll be able to retrieve some pipes and some tobacco from storage. Until then...well...I'm going to take a long walk through this ghastly Florida suburb in search of tobacco later today. Even some more CB White will do. But I'd love to find some Carter Hall or Prince Albert.
     
  17. dmkerr

    dmkerr PG- free since '83! Moderator

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    :xd: Nothing I wouldn't do!
     
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  18. Arkie

    Arkie Active Member

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    It smells like licorice in the pouch but it actually tastes like soap. It leaves a soapy aftertaste and it taints your pipe with that soapy taste as well. Warning someone about it is like telling a kid to not lick a frozen steel post.
     
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  19. SouthBound

    SouthBound Active Member

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    Yep. When I still dipped Copenhagen, I would always let the biggest bums see me put a "partially used" dip back into the can. Suddenly all requests for a dip stopped. Sounds like this is the pipe smoking equivalent.
     
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  20. PipeWife

    PipeWife Member

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    I DOUBLE-DOG DARE you!
    :haha:
     
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