Machine Made Cigars

nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
There are plenty of machine-made class dropouts sitting over on the group W bench....the misfits, the ill educated, the crazy, the ones that defy any and all reasoning, the ones that would sooner cut you than give you a good smoke (that group w bench is populated with mother rapers...father stabbers....father rapers). A classic example is the Phillies blunt. I found cellophane inside one of those once. On two separate occasions, actually.

And then there are the graduates, those that are respectable, responsible, will perform their duties for society and fulfill their job adequately. These cigars are not antisocial, and they are not going to totally shirk their responsibilities....but they are not the elite, they are not professors, leaders of industry, innovators or anything of the sort. They got their high school diploma and went straight to work without further refinement. Nothing wrong with that - they're honest, hardworking cigars and that's why I love them. Muniemakers. Parodi. You know, decent smokes, but they're never going to command the kinds of salaries the La Flor Dominicanas of the world will....

But I've recently revisited Garcia y Vega English Coronas. I bought a four pack, and I just finished it tonight. I hadn't had these in a while.

These are tricky, they're sort of....well.....they were held back a grade or two, dropped out, but went back and got their GED....they are smokeable, but only just barely. They ARE above the group w bench lot, but they are not in the same league as Muniemaker or Parodi or even Antonio y Cleopatra. They burn too fast, every cap I got was busted (and they were tubed!), they burn hot and thin, they are sickly sweet though unflavored...and they cost as much as or more than a number of cigars which are at least twice as good in my opinion. They can be smoked, but the question must be asked: why bother?

If someone comes by your house and abducts you to take you fishing and you find yourselves without any smokes and you stop at a gas station, and if this gas station doesn't sell Grenadiers or Parodis or anything like that.....chances are you can get some Garcia y Vega. And you can light up one or two and smoke them. You aren't likely to throw up or be turned off of cigars entirely forever.

But if you have any reasonable alternative, go for that. It is not that I hate these cigars, because I don't. It's just that I have absolutely no reason to ever smoke them again. I probably will anyway in a few years when I forget what they're like and think "maybe I'll give those a shot," and then come to the same conclusion all over again. But as long as I can remember what I've learned over the course of this package of cigars, I don't think I'll be buying any more.

If you like em, more power to you....but I don't like them. Also, as an aside, I hope not to offend anyone based on my comparisons regarding different levels of education. I don't mean to be demeaning to any group, though I'm sure it may have come across that way...I'm drawing upon caricatures and generalizations, and do not actually think of the groups of people mentioned as genuinely living up to these categorizations.
 

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nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
It's also worth mentioning that the Group W bench isn't entirely made up of scary folks. There's also one litterbug.
 

ruffinogold

Well-Known Member
Mayor
I've been buying some Muriel coronas lately ... they aren't near a Muniemaker or the like , but they are smokable . I think theyre about 50 cents each , which is really a joke compared to what they were pre Schip .. but what are ya gonna do ... lol . Anyway , theyre the point at which something is smokable and you can go up from there , no doubt . There was a brand we had around here called Vega Fina [ or something close to that ] and they were pretty good but I haven't seen them in some time
 

Whalehead King

Active Member
Member
I still have no idea what Group W is.

I have been thinking about getting a box of Muriels, only because I want the box. They still have that Spanish lady as their mascot, if that is the right word. Like White Owl, Phillies, and El Producto, I'm hesitant to get stuck with a box of Muriels, no matter how much I like looking at a Spanish lady.
 

D-Pap

Member
Member
Well, I haven't ever smoked any machine mades, so I took the advice of some of you and bought a box La Aurora Principies. I haven't received them yet, but upon closer examination of my e-receipt, I actually bought a box of the chocolate flavored instead of the natural. Has anyone smoked the chocolate or any of the other flavored Principies? I'm debating on whether to keep them or try to return them for the natural (which I don't know if they will allow returns on cigars.) Give me some guidance please.
 

nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
I have not had the chocolate...but I'd try them. If you try them, I hope you like them! I can't imagine whoever you ordered them from would be too picky about helping you out if the box was unopened and you paid for the shipping...but...companies don't always think the same way I do. Still, send them an email - worst case scenario they say no.

And Calvinandpipe, yes it was. I saw him in concert a handful of years ago - and departing from tradition, he actually performed that! He said the biggest reason he hadn't performed it for so long was that he had trouble remembering it all :hip1:

He had his son and grandson as the only two other performers on stage with him. The last song they played was "This Land Is Your Land" - four generations of Guthrie music that night. I, er, don't remember everything about that concert....but I remember enjoying it thoroughly!

Whaleheadking, the Group W bench is from a scene in the song "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie - among the only folk singers I really like.

 

I tried a Garcia y Vega 1882
I guess it's supposed to be GyV's version of the Backwoods cigars.
$0.82 it came in a kind foil or mylar sleeve.
I wasn't too impressed. It was loosly rolled, parts of it I could flatten out to about 1/4 inch. Like it was just wrapper and hardly any filler.
I don't know if it's because I have been smoking the Parodis and DeNoblis, but the 1882 had very little flavor.
I didn't time it, but it burned down pretty quickly.
I'll probably try another to see if the poor rolling was a fluke or if they are all made like that.
 

I tried the Villiger Exports both the Maduro and the Natural.
I would say they are the best machined cigars I have tried.
I just wished they were a little bigger.
One question, the one store has all the Parodi/DeNobli cigars.
The boxes are old and dusty, are they "aged" or just dried out and stale?
 

nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
Hey Nesta - Did you ever hear back from JR about your machine made sampler suggestion?
i did not :(
Speaking of JR cigars, the one store I go to has "J&R World Famous" cigars for $1.50 a pop. Anyone every try them?
i've wondered about them myself. they dont sell the jr machine mades individually online, and only sell high count boxes, so i haven't gotten to try them yet. if you can get a single, i'd be quite interested in hearing what you think of them!
 

nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
Being a big fan of Parodi and Avanti, while I was in the UK I saw that a few shops sold Toscano Classico cigars. I thought I'd give them a try, so I picked up a five pack of the full sized cigars. Four were smoked as they were, one was sliced into two shorter cigars.

First the bad news: these are significantly more expensive than Parodi. A five pack of Parodi costs me around 7 dollars. The fiver of Toscanos was £20. Conservatively, that makes it about a thirty dollar purchase. Instead of just over a buck a piece, these cigars are around six dollars a piece (in the shop I got them in the UK, at least). They're cheaper than the other cigars people like to buy when they visit non-US countries, but they are not exactly cheap for a machine made cigar. In fact, they are the most expensive machine made I've ever smoked.

Now the good news is they ARE better than Parodis. The flavor is a little smoother, and a little more refined.

Back to the bad news....the flavor isn't anywhere close to six times better that of Parodi.

The draw is tighter than Parodi, and they burn a lot slower. As a result, you really need to slow down even more than normal for one of these. If you do, the flavors are very enjoyable. If you aren't gentle with them, though, the flavors are pretty lousy.

They are about as strong as Parodi, they taste a little bit better, and while Parodi already offers a shockingly long smoke for the size of the cigar, these things burn even more slowly.

If you get a chance, they are certainly worth a try. I am glad I tried them. But unless I get a better price on them in the future (a much better price) I'm going to have to stick with Parodi.
 

i did not :(
i've wondered about them myself. they dont sell the jr machine mades individually online, and only sell high count boxes, so i haven't gotten to try them yet. if you can get a single, i'd be quite interested in hearing what you think of them!
I don't get to that store very often but next time I'll pick up a couple.
 

colorduke

Active Member
Member
Why did Phillie & Swisher ever quit making there honey flavored cigars?they were the best tasting machine made cigars on the market.I picked up a pk of Dutch Masters honey sports today not bad at all.
 

nesta

Well-Known Member
Member
I can tolerate a cigar with a homogenized tobacco binder and a natural wrapper, but I have never been able to stand a cigar with a homogenized wrapper. That said, I did used to buy an awful lot of them for somebody who didn't like smoking those cigars....and I agree, the honey Phillies blunt was a good flavor. But they also made (for a little while, at least) banana, coconut, mango, berry....the list goes on, and apart from the cinnamon or green apple, I liked them all