Small life crysis ....

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TheSaint

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#1
i didnt know which forum to post this in, so if it more appropriately fits somewhere else please move it

i wouldnt usually post things like this on a forum, but i feel especially at kin with you guys and i get a sense of maturaty, respect and comradeship from this forum that i dont get anywhere else

i need some advice on what to do
i have just started a new job and it wasnt actually something i was gunning for but i thought i would give it a shot
little did i know that it was a lot more hardwork than i thought it would be and not as well paid

as some of u may or may not know i was in a bad car accident not long ago and badly injured (crushed both ankles - lucky to be able to walk) this destroyed my confidence and put me off work for a good 2 years

:wheelchair:

now my new boss has been treating my like a 2 year old (im 23, im qualified and im professional) and she has been really dis-respectful in regards to my injury - so far i have bitten my lip and just soldiered on .. but today she really took it too far so i packed up my stuff and walked out

i had been really working hard at this job and studying to learn everything and she treated me like i hadnt lifted a finger

only this year has a bad bout of depression set in on me as well and i thought i had finally gotten rid of it all and gotten back on the horse (i used to be one of those ppl that would say 'whats there to be depressed about' now that i have the same chemicle in-balance i understand) so on the way home i drove rather badly and scared myself a little - i got myself to the doctors and he said i shouldnt really work there (hes usually the type to say 'toughen up' so this came as a bit of a suprise)

little did i know that when getting back on the horse it can kik u in the stomach

:wallbash:

but its hard to get work when you are un-employed
now im stressing my ass off as to wether i should go in 2moro or just stay home and use my time constructively to get a new job (and smoke a few bowls lol :sh1:

im also considering going to study engineering ... is it worth it?

thanks for listening to my trivial tail ... im sure theres ppl dealing with alot worse out there but today i thought i would truly go postal on my small town

:death:
 

NDLanoue

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#2
I don't know that I'll be the most help, but I'll give it a shot.

Honestly, I would suggest staying home and being productive. It's not like you just gave up or just didn't give it an honest effort. You worked hard and she didn't respect that. With everything else going on in life, I would have to agree with the doctor and say that perhaps that's not a good work environment for you.

If you take a day, smoke a few bowls, set yourself up for a new job, and get in the mind frame to move forward, I can't see anything wrong with that. In the long-run, that's probably most beneficial.

I hope it goes well. That's just my $.02.
 
#3
I have no advice, but wanted you to know that I read of your plight and offer sympathy. Tough situation--but you are YOUNG yet: good luck!
 

piper

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#4
Read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.

Ideally you shouldn't pay any mind to your boss's personality problems, you should just do your job. All things being equal of course you wouldn't want a boss like that, but it's not equal when you don't have another job to go to, and it can always be worse.

I understand it can be difficult to not let other people get to you, that's why I recommended the book.
 

NDLanoue

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#5
piper said:
Read The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand.

Ideally you shouldn't pay any mind to your boss's personality problems, you should just do your job. All things being equal of course you wouldn't want a boss like that, but it's not equal when you don't have another job to go to, and it can always be worse.

I understand it can be difficult to not let other people get to you, that's why I recommended the book.
Phenomenal book. I also recommend Atlas Shrugged, but I think The Fountainhead is most applicable. It is by far one of the most influential books you could read. I second this advice.
 

dubhdarra

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#6
Write up the issue and send it to your boss's boss as a request for a moderated conversation. that way you can keep your job, hopefully have a less stressful work environment, and the bitchy boss gets her ego reined in a little. worst thing that can happen is you dont go back to a job you quit.

keep in mind i quit a job by walking into my boss's office, reaming her for not letting my submit my two weeks (i'd been trying to for three) cursed her out, flipped her off, walked out and bought an ipod with my last paycheck.
 

TheSaint

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#7
yeah i have been disregarding her and getting on with the job for the last 3 weeks

the job has got to a point where i cant do anything more unless i learn from her / check in with her / she trains me - and that is providing to be a problem

she admitted that she wasnt really interested in keeping me on after probabation anyhow - i also talked to 2 seperate people that worked for her and they said that it wasnt worth the stress ... even the other employee there said that it gets to her and shes on like a quarter of what i was being paid lol

my boss owns the business so there isnt really a level up to goto

im thinking that i should put my head down and study engineering ... its not worth trading a pay check for mental health

but on the other hand ... i really need a job ... ffs i hate this crap

thanks for all the positive replies!!
 
#8
I would suggest that if you have a job to fall back on then by all means leave and use your backup job to sustain you while you study engineering or switch jobs.

Engineering is definitely worth it. You can almost always get a job using it somewhere. I don't know about Australia, but in the US engineers are generally always in demand.
 

piper

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#9
The engineering degree can be great if you approach it with the right attitude. Namely, that you're there to learn--not to collect a scrap of paper that alleges that you did. If you buckle down the first year, you can probably get a scholarship for the rest. If you're serious, then student loans are worth it. Better to graduate in debt with an A- average than to work more hours on your way through and get out with a B average. If you're not serious and then drop out, then they'll be a pain to pay off.

Hopefully the economy is doing well when you graduate.
 

TheSaint

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#10
yeah its the same here, theres always all sorts of positions advertised and you only need an engineering degree and you are set

i was also considering town planning - its in massive demand over here at the moment but it seems the coarses are a little niche

i was really scared of studying because i hadnt done it for so long ... but i just spend 2 weeks studying for my new job and i did really well and it was really hard work and it wasnt really something i wanted to learn anyway lol

i did half an engineering degree when i was only 16 and doing year 11 .... but it was really hard for my age and i was more interested in smoking/drinking and girls at the time ... now i only care about a career/getting married + kids/building a project car

i dont have a job to fall back on but the government will pay me $460p/fortnight (AUD) because i have an injury ... i hate taking hand outs but its enough to survive on

having an income is preferable ... either way i go im now looking for work full time lol

just dont know if i should bother going in 2moro morning when i know i will probably be home by lunchtime again =/
 

Wydeboi

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#11
Just my two cents. I wouldn't go back. If you're that stressed out, it'll probably only get worse. Walk away and start over. Good luck to you.
 

dubhdarra

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#12
TheSaint said:
yeah its the same here, theres always all sorts of positions advertised and you only need an engineering degree and you are set

i was also considering town planning - its in massive demand over here at the moment but it seems the coarses are a little niche

i was really scared of studying because i hadnt done it for so long ... but i just spend 2 weeks studying for my new job and i did really well and it was really hard work and it wasnt really something i wanted to learn anyway lol

i did half an engineering degree when i was only 16 and doing year 11 .... but it was really hard for my age and i was more interested in smoking/drinking and girls at the time ... now i only care about a career/getting married + kids/building a project car

i dont have a job to fall back on but the government will pay me $460p/fortnight (AUD) because i have an injury ... i hate taking hand outs but its enough to survive on

having an income is preferable ... either way i go im now looking for work full time lol

just dont know if i should bother going in 2moro morning when i know i will probably be home by lunchtime again =/
give your two weeks and explain why you're leaving. if you have a technical proficiency and or certification getting a job isn't AS difficult as without. additional schooling never hurts either, i'm working for a blacksmith/machinist and going to school full time right now. its rough, but manageable.
 

Silverado

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#14
I can speak to several of the points in your post. I'm not sure if it will help, but here's my perspective. (I'll try to keep it somewhat shorter than "War and Peace".)

Depression; this part is serious business indeed. Depression, anxiety and bi-polar disorders all run in my family. Literally everyone on my father's side, and most on my mother's, struggle with one or more of these.

Sometimes, a general feeling of malaise or frustration is not clinical depression; that happens to everybody. The real deal, however, is like dry-rot in the beams of a house. I make no jest when I say it's creeping death to an otherwise healthy psyche, and must be dealt with fully. This is your first priority.

Depression can be triggered by a series of events such as you've experienced. Physical pain is funny in this regard; it can manifest as a symptom of depression, but has far greater power as an instigator of it.

Having worked as a carpenter for quite a few years, I've developed severe CTS in both hands, and have torn up both a knee and a shoulder, both of which require surgery to correct. Living with and working through almost constant pain takes a very heavy toll on your mind. However, care must be taken to deal with pain solely with pharmaceuticals, as they can have long lasting and sometimes severe side effects. If you can, try physio-therapy, chiropractic, accupuncture, or whatever you may in order to mitigate the pain.

Also, speak to a psychiatrist (or psychologist) at your first opportunity, but take heed! Many are overeager to prescribe the latest, greatest anti-depressant medication. This science has come far from my father's time when Lithium Citrate was the best they had, but I still believe the mechanism of these miracle mood drugs is poorly understood. Drugs which act on your brain's neurotransmission system are powerful juju, and should be approached with extreme caution.

For me as an example, any drug which acts on Serotonin is pure poison; the uptake side-effects were almost crippling (unable to sleep, unable to wake :eek:, horrible dizzyness, etc). The discontinuation side-effects were similar and at least as bad, and I still suffer from some of them more than a year after total discontinuation of the drug.

All I mean with all this is that after reading your post, I feel this is the most critical issue you're dealing with, so please attack this problem courageously, but as though your life depends on it, because it just may.
 

piper

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#15
You don't have direct control over your emotions, but you do over your life choices and whether your ideas are rooted in sense and reason or blind emotion. If you don't take total responsibility for the reasoning part of your mind, don't be surprised when the emotional side is out of control.

I would second the advice to be wary of psychiatry and their drugs. I don't think they know what they are doing. And if they don't tell you some form of what I just did--to grab the reins of your mind and take control of what you can take control of--then they have zero credibility. Most won't say that. Not to suggest a conscious motive on their part, but they need you more than you need them. Nothing's better for their bottom line than a patient who comes back month after month.
 

Silverado

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#16
As to unemployment; I've been fighting this monster for some time as well. Aside from being a skilled carpenter, I'm an experienced project manager, general contractor, and University educated to boot (Commerce/Business Admin.).

Fort McMurray, Alberta is the quintessential 21st Century boom town, and construction contracting has always been a feast or famine occupation in any case. I came to town almost five years ago to take a position as a project manager on a modest residential construction project. Things were going very well; my salary was generous and the project seemed to be progressing smoothly. Jumping ahead two years paints a different picture!

I came to understand that the developer who hired me was deeply over his head on this project. If it hadn't effected me so severely, it would have been funny at the time. These guys couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery, and wouldn't take advice from me or anyone else (and advice was certainly offered!). That project would make a great case-study in cascade effect and bad decision making.

The reason I bring this up is to illustrate unhappiness and dissatisfaction with your job. At some point, stress and frustration make it impossible to continue. If you're there, leave. It seems crazy, but sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do; and it's exactly what I did. For me at least, it felt like taking a millstone from around my neck.

There are two outlooks you need to consider; the short-term, and the long-term.

In the short term, you should do whatever you can to get work enough to survive. This is what men of character do; whatever must be done.

It's good that you're also taking the long view in considering a degree and commitment to a career path. Working towards a goal, with the hope and visualization that goes along with that, coupled with milestones of achievement, can be very inspiring indeed.

I think in your situation, the idiom "Plan your work, and work your plan" is appropriate here.

To your success!
 

ddandb

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#17
Beings she already said she probably won't keep you on after the probationary period it's safe to assume this job isn't going to last to much longer anyway.
So it sounds to me like the choice is really to leave now on your own or wait till the probation is over and she lets you go.
 

jvande7

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#18
My wife recently quit her job of 5 years. She was getting so stressed at work due to her horrible boss mostly, and her blood pressure was through the roof. Anyhow, she quit and has never been happier. Her blood pressure went down to normal and she's much more of a pleasure to be around.

Of course, now we have one income so we're broke as :poop: but that doesn't bother me. It sounds corny, but as Lennon/McCartney said "All You Need Is Love". :hippie:

Life is too short to :luv: around with jobs like that. In these modern times it's easy to forget about what's important and what's needed for a happy life. Here's a hint - it isn't iPods and flatscreen TV's and BMW's. You'd be surprised how little one needs to be happy.

Hopefully the Squadron Leader and WOL OF I sent over helps you forget about your troubles. Enjoy! :puff:
 

Skylane

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#19
Getting an engineering degree is no easy task. You have to be really dedicated in order to do it. By the 3rd year, many either change their major or drop out entirely. That's not meant to discourage you. If you want it badly enough you can do it, but you just have to want it that badly. Giving it a half-fast effort won't cut it no matter how smart you are.

The good news is that because it's so difficult, engineers are almost always in demand. Job security is hit and miss. If you get on with an engineering firm, you generally get steady work. Large companies that do in-house engineering sometimes lay off engineers either when times are tough or they have developed their product line as far as they want to go. But generally you won't be out of work for long even if that happens. I know engineers that got laid off and were actually happier going the consulting route.
 

Silverado

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#20
I think engineering is an excellent career.

If I were looking at it, I believe I'd choose structural engineering as my specialty, simply because it's applicable to a broad range of sectors (commercial, residential, industrial, and civil projects all use structural engineers) and with only a little complimentary training you could dovetail it into architecture as well.

If you're anything like me, you'll find buildings and bridges fascinating stuff.
 
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